I know it's been so long since I last blogged! But in reality, I did come here to be a graduate student, and that has definitely been the case the past few weeks! I have also secured a position as a Graduate Assistant, and so I don't enjoy the same amount of free time as before....
I can't complain, however. This is what I came here to do. The problem that I've encountered over the past summer - perhaps due to all my diving into Sufism - is that there is much more for me to do that just get my degree. Don't get me wrong, I can and will finish my degree, and probably end up diving into a Phd as well. I think that I am ready to be done with trivial things. I know that I need to prove myself and work towards being able to do what I really want to, but having to deal with mundane tasks is really getting to me for some reason....
Perhaps it's not being able to allow my creativity to flow freely.... I'm not sure. I feel so tired of being told what to do and instructed to perform simple tasks which for me, have no purpose. I know that they must be done, but the problem is that I just don't want to do them..
In the past, the best way for me to combat these "sticky feelings" (since they do cause me to feel stuck and stagnant) is to travel. Whether it be traveling across the world or just driving up into the mountains (mostly the latter) I've been able to calm my inner self and cleanse the conscience by immersing myself in nature. I'm not sure why that's always worked for me, but I'm not ready to abandon a tried and true method!
I have run into one big problem, though. There is no nature in Doha. Don't get me wrong, I understand that there are parks, but would anybody have seen a vast field of Kentucky Bluegrass and plastic playground structures in this area 40 years ago? I highly doubt it. I honestly can't say I've even seen what the natural landscape of this country looks like. If you never left Doha (where I am currently contained), you would think that the entirety of Qatar was lined with pavement, highrises, and sidewalks.
Ok, I know that it's probably just a lot of wind and sand out there - right outside of Doha anyways - but there is more to Qatar than just the Global Doha. Before Doha, there was a distinct culture here and elsewhere in Arabia. People lived amongst nature, not shut out from it. I want to see what Qatar's really like. I want to get out and breath the desert air, not hear a car horn for more than 5 minutes at a time.
Maybe I just need to get away from people. I'm not sure. Doha is brimming with people. People from all around. There is no cohesive culture here, cultures exist in bubbles, away from the public eye. Like people gather with other like people, and bridges across communities do not exist (at least in the public sphere). People are skeptical of other groups, partially because this may be the first time they've ever laid eyes on someone so different. Here Arabs stare wide-eyed at Westerners - who are fascinated at them in return - where South Asians and Filipinos try to understand one another, both on the same rung of the economic ladder and yet from two markedly different ends of the world.
There is no over-arching sense of belonging. Nobody feels as if they are truly a part of a larger community here. Most expats who come here do so attempting to make a better life for themselves, to earn better salaries, to help family, to succeed. In that sense, it could be argued that the majority of people that come here are selfish and pursuing wealth alone. And yet there is solidarity, and a tacit understanding between people that everyone here is working towards improvement.
Even in a religious context, everyone here is always striving to be better - mostly. The feeling can be felt in the mosques, which are flooded with converts from all over the world. I'll sometimes attend the Friday prayers at FANAR cultural center by Souq Waqif, and most of the people there are Indian or Filipino, African or Indonesian. There's a handful of Westerners like myself (since it's the only English mosque in Doha) dispersed throughout, but we are few in number.
Through all this I am left now wondering: where is the soul of Qatar?
I have always thought that the soul of a place lives within the Earth itself. Such is the case of Colorado and much of the US Southwest. God is present strongly and fiercely within the landscape itself. The beauty is staggering.
Here... The landscape is shut out. The few times I have glimpsed at hints of the desert surrounding Doha, I can hear God whispering to my - inviting me forth.
I always think back to Rumi: "wherever you stand, be the soul of that place". But where can I find the soul of Qatar? Does it lie amongst the people? The ones who have crawled here to this city from all corners of the planet? Are they the soul of Qatar? I don't see it in the faces of the few actual Qataris - they seem guarded (and rightly so) to the globalization around them.
Every morning, on my taxi ride from the bad end of town to campus, I gaze out on the sea and hear the call of God. I heard it again once on the outskirts of Doha, after a few wrong turns had taken us too far down Salwa road. God is out there, and he is living in the landscape here.
I'm planing on doing a national tour of Qatar (all 11,437 sq km of it). I'm sure by car it could be done in a day, but I want to take my time. I'm going to convince my S.O. to come with me so I'm not a stupid single American girl running around by myself, but I plan on spending a lot of time with myself and with God. I want to tour around the coast and see the smaller traditional villages and romance away on the beaches and the coast. Why not? I doubt many Qataris have ever delved into the Qatari landscape.
There is more to Qatar than just Doha, and I plan on seeing it.
Peace and love always <3
I can't complain, however. This is what I came here to do. The problem that I've encountered over the past summer - perhaps due to all my diving into Sufism - is that there is much more for me to do that just get my degree. Don't get me wrong, I can and will finish my degree, and probably end up diving into a Phd as well. I think that I am ready to be done with trivial things. I know that I need to prove myself and work towards being able to do what I really want to, but having to deal with mundane tasks is really getting to me for some reason....
Perhaps it's not being able to allow my creativity to flow freely.... I'm not sure. I feel so tired of being told what to do and instructed to perform simple tasks which for me, have no purpose. I know that they must be done, but the problem is that I just don't want to do them..
In the past, the best way for me to combat these "sticky feelings" (since they do cause me to feel stuck and stagnant) is to travel. Whether it be traveling across the world or just driving up into the mountains (mostly the latter) I've been able to calm my inner self and cleanse the conscience by immersing myself in nature. I'm not sure why that's always worked for me, but I'm not ready to abandon a tried and true method!
I have run into one big problem, though. There is no nature in Doha. Don't get me wrong, I understand that there are parks, but would anybody have seen a vast field of Kentucky Bluegrass and plastic playground structures in this area 40 years ago? I highly doubt it. I honestly can't say I've even seen what the natural landscape of this country looks like. If you never left Doha (where I am currently contained), you would think that the entirety of Qatar was lined with pavement, highrises, and sidewalks.
Ok, I know that it's probably just a lot of wind and sand out there - right outside of Doha anyways - but there is more to Qatar than just the Global Doha. Before Doha, there was a distinct culture here and elsewhere in Arabia. People lived amongst nature, not shut out from it. I want to see what Qatar's really like. I want to get out and breath the desert air, not hear a car horn for more than 5 minutes at a time.
Maybe I just need to get away from people. I'm not sure. Doha is brimming with people. People from all around. There is no cohesive culture here, cultures exist in bubbles, away from the public eye. Like people gather with other like people, and bridges across communities do not exist (at least in the public sphere). People are skeptical of other groups, partially because this may be the first time they've ever laid eyes on someone so different. Here Arabs stare wide-eyed at Westerners - who are fascinated at them in return - where South Asians and Filipinos try to understand one another, both on the same rung of the economic ladder and yet from two markedly different ends of the world.
There is no over-arching sense of belonging. Nobody feels as if they are truly a part of a larger community here. Most expats who come here do so attempting to make a better life for themselves, to earn better salaries, to help family, to succeed. In that sense, it could be argued that the majority of people that come here are selfish and pursuing wealth alone. And yet there is solidarity, and a tacit understanding between people that everyone here is working towards improvement.
Even in a religious context, everyone here is always striving to be better - mostly. The feeling can be felt in the mosques, which are flooded with converts from all over the world. I'll sometimes attend the Friday prayers at FANAR cultural center by Souq Waqif, and most of the people there are Indian or Filipino, African or Indonesian. There's a handful of Westerners like myself (since it's the only English mosque in Doha) dispersed throughout, but we are few in number.
Through all this I am left now wondering: where is the soul of Qatar?
I have always thought that the soul of a place lives within the Earth itself. Such is the case of Colorado and much of the US Southwest. God is present strongly and fiercely within the landscape itself. The beauty is staggering.
Here... The landscape is shut out. The few times I have glimpsed at hints of the desert surrounding Doha, I can hear God whispering to my - inviting me forth.
I always think back to Rumi: "wherever you stand, be the soul of that place". But where can I find the soul of Qatar? Does it lie amongst the people? The ones who have crawled here to this city from all corners of the planet? Are they the soul of Qatar? I don't see it in the faces of the few actual Qataris - they seem guarded (and rightly so) to the globalization around them.
Every morning, on my taxi ride from the bad end of town to campus, I gaze out on the sea and hear the call of God. I heard it again once on the outskirts of Doha, after a few wrong turns had taken us too far down Salwa road. God is out there, and he is living in the landscape here.
I'm planing on doing a national tour of Qatar (all 11,437 sq km of it). I'm sure by car it could be done in a day, but I want to take my time. I'm going to convince my S.O. to come with me so I'm not a stupid single American girl running around by myself, but I plan on spending a lot of time with myself and with God. I want to tour around the coast and see the smaller traditional villages and romance away on the beaches and the coast. Why not? I doubt many Qataris have ever delved into the Qatari landscape.
There is more to Qatar than just Doha, and I plan on seeing it.
Peace and love always <3
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