When I started down this long road of Sufism, I never
imagined it would end up being quite so troubling. Honestly, looking back now,
I don’t even know if I would recommend the option to anybody who truly is
seeking answers about the nature of God and existence. The problem with Sufism
is, that if you are truly determined and open to achieving your spiritual goals,
you can do so.
Normally, of course, this would not be a problem. Learning
about the nature of God and the spiritual threads that connect us all actually
makes it so difficult, if not borderline impossible, to live comfortably in
this dunya. I’ve never had such a hard time forcing myself to participate in
the high-speed, non-stop, progress-driven world that we live in today. I don’t
naturally move as quickly as the pace of today’s internationalized capitalism.
Honestly, if it were up to me, work wouldn’t ever start
before 10am. Breakfast and coffee could be consumed every morning without
exception. There would be time at night to sit outside and slowly enjoy your
poison (whether it be a beer or glass of wine for you non-Muslims, a big fat
doobie, or just a cut of tea….). I would give anything to be able to watch the
sun set even twice a week. In a perfect world, I would be able to take Farrah
out for a nice long walk in the evenings, without worrying whether I’m going to
be run over or stared to death.
Why doesn’t the world work that way? Just think about that for a
minute. How many people actually like to force themselves up in the morning,
sleep deprived, dragging themselves to work for a job they may not even enjoy
(driving in a car that statistically has a high likelihood of crashing), only
to drag themselves back in the evening, too tired to enjoy life or take time to
reflect? I’m guessing very few people.
The problem is that the way our world works, is in a way
where we are constantly told that money is our only salvation. In this world,
in this life, money is god. We work ourselves silly to get money, which allows
us to live. It is only through money
that we can truly express our inner human happiness (whether it be by buying a
movie ticket, a plane fare, or just a good meal).
That SUCKS.
I want to wake up every morning and fill my heart with love
and happiness, not suppress it with tons of caffeine and artificial light.
The problem is that while I recognize all this, I am also a
realist to some extent. I realize that my options for working outside of the
system in order to change it are so slim. The only reason I would work outside
of the system is if I cared only for my own happiness; I could isolate myself
from this fucked up society and live a happy life. For sure, I could do that.
I can’t, in good conscience, proceed with that plan. I love
people, and seeing my fellow human beings suffer at the expense of the few who
control this world system forces me to employ all of my privilege and ability
to help them, and to change things.
That all sounds so noble, and I swear I’m not a tree-hugging
self-righteous twat. I’m only one person; I can only do so much.
In the hopes that some day I can gain enough recognition
that I could somehow exert an influence to help one group of people, or
enlighten one other person, I continue on towards my goal. Slowly trudging my
way through this shit-filled sewer that we call “the modern world”; I bide my
time.
I have only one God, and He does not live in this soul-less
compression of concrete, steel, and tarmac. My God is the one of the mountains
and the sea, the God who makes the desert sands sing, who’s breath slips
through my window and kisses my cheeks.
Sufi ramblings. Bleh.
Peace and Love always <3
One must be in a constant struggle towards Allah.. WE are human we make mistakes. and Allah has opened his door of mercy and forgiveness. So one must get disappointed and carry on his/her struggle throughout the life..
ReplyDeleteAs far as sufism is concerned, I havent seen it significantly in the life of prophet Muhammad. What I have seen is a constant struggle plus full involment in the matters of the society. while sufism somehow breaks your connection with the socirty
"Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and children, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses,cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return." (Quran 3:14)
ReplyDeleteThis right here proves things never change. This world is still about that. Showing off women, keeping them as posessions and controlling them for our desires. We compare our children and use them as measures for our success as parents. Branded horses are now sexy cars. Productive land is now a mansion with 1000 acres. The fact is that despite the fact that the world is changing- our habits are not. It is up to us to find the time in our daily lives to STOP and to REFLECT and to look at the big picture, we are more than mere agents and robots moving to and fro like we're mechanically engineered and controlled. We are human beings with amazing capabilities- with minds, hearts and souls that desire greater comprehension and that cannot come when we live life like emotionless drones. I'm glad you get is sis, alhamdulileh.